New Green Me

It was nice to get that note from you.  I haven't been seeing many friends lately.   Even with Facebook and Twitter and all these other gizmos, I feel isolated. Maybe its trying to survive in Los Angeles with no car.  Smoke started coming out of my car, then the light came on saying CHECK ENGINE.  Then it died on the side of the road, and I didn't have the money to fix it.  So I decided I would try to be green. I souped up my bike for urban survival riding.  I even have a drink holder for my coffee. I have a 23 mile daily commute, and so I have to get on a bus too, putting my bike into a rack on the front.  It's a nice bus with the seats all facing forward and tinted windows.  I have gotten to know the driver.  Her name is "miss white" and she's funny.  One time when it was just us two on the bus, she told me about her suspicions that aliens live among us.  I know its the cliche thing to hear on a bus; nevertheless it is what she told me.  In many ways I enjoy the time on the road.  The bicycle riding has pushed the old body back into semi-shape, and quiet time on the bus has allowed me to get back to reading and writing.  I am writing this on the bus, as a matter of fact.   It has been a struggle to get back to writing anything significant.  It will come soon.  I just have to keep trying.   This email is the longest thing I have written in weeks.  Maybe I can trick myself into writing again -- by writing emails to my friends. I don't mean to say that I am totally isolated; of course I have a wonderful home with Ai and our pets.  Speaking of which, my one-eyed cat Henry has gotten very skinny lately, and I am worried about him. But in general, the home life is happy. I have also getting closer with my sister, who has become friends with Ai.  I haven't had my sister ever become friends with my girlfriend.  It feels like family, and so I am lucky in that way.  I am just talking about ... you know.... going out...seeing people at night etc.  Once I get home on my bike, I just want to stay in.  Drink whiskey and do yoga.  I am still performing comedy once in a while. I like being on stage, but I have nerves in the weeks preceding a show. I want to incorporate a guitar and singing somehow.   I was just out in the desert last weekend and it was very quiet.  I would strap on my guitar and go walking out among the cacti. I'd look at the rabbits while I plucked.  It was so quiet and I could hear the notes ringing very clearly.  I feel like I got better at playing out there, even though I was only out there a couple of days.  It feels good to write this email.  It's strange that we are all supposedly so "connected" on Facebook, yet it seems so lonely there.  I edit myself too much on there.   Its like everyone is so cool.  It seems sterile, and I want to rage against it. Half the time, when I write something, I delete it 3 seconds later. Every time I say something, all of these random people comment.  Its just too many different types of eyes in one place.  It paralyzes me somehow.  I think I prefer a one-on-one situation. As for Twitter- there's too much pressure to be funny. I think it was in the liner notes to a Talking Head CD that I once read something like "there are a finite number of jokes in the universe." I feel like my joke universe has been played out. I just haven't felt funny lately. How can I be funny, when my work environment is so dire? Either I'm up to my eyeballs with work, or there is absolutely nothing to do but sit in my windowless room and watch the mice root through the trash. They say comedy comes from anger and sadness but I have to say that hasn't been true for me lately. I've got the anger and sadness, just no jokes. Thank you for the invitation to come see you.  I would like nothing more than to get out of here for a while.  It was so much fun to drink flaming bowls of alcohol and go get footrubs in "The Real Chinatown" on your last visit.  That was funny how you found the foot rub "too relaxing! I was worried you were going to faint. You just needed some fresh air. Anyway, things are largely ok here.  I hope you are happy and healthy and productive.Xox John